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| The end of a journey(?) |
| Thursday, November 16, 2006 |
Yesterday early morning 2-3am,
I tried very hard to get to sleep
but the harder I tried, the more I can't get to sleep.
I couldn't remember what time I finally slept.
This morning I suddenly wokeup at 0745am,
return to my bed after a trip to the bathroom.
I didn't want to wakeup,
but again the harder I tried, the more I was awake.
Did anyone ever asked yourself when you wakeup in the morning, for what or what purposes are you waking up for?
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I joined a 'competition' near end of last year. As some of my friends knew I seldom join competitions(I knew some who joined multiple competitions at a time), but I joined this because I felt that it's really a special and promising one.
It started out well(perhaps), I was full of enthusiasm, hope and joy. The event was somewhat a fierce one, with unseen pressures and untold rules... in which I tried my best to handle the pressure and remember the rules. I came to know a few competitors, they have much better 'qualities' than me, but I did not give up. I am always true and opened in the process of the competition and by doing that, I revealed much of my weaknesses. I knew well that in a competition, (worse come to worse)one has to use whatever ways to win it... and that will mean to fake alittle or wear a mask. Maybe I am really stupid as I choose not to do that.
Right at the beginning(or somewhere there), I knew I ain't cutout to win this competition... somehow I already know I will lose but from time to time, I was shown signs that I might win... they are faint signs that confused me sometimes. Perhaps I spent too much time concerning the event itself until I forgot to show what I am capable of. I guess this has much to do with my defeat... yes, I was eliminated in the 1st round.
Recently I came to know that there is a 2nd round, so I made an appeal to see if I am still eligible for it... but I was rejected flatout. I might be wrong but somehow I get the idea that only the best one in the 1st round is eligible to continue participating in the 2nd round with a whole new bunch of competitors. Well, is that really the case? I do not know, this is just a guess from me.
Ya... indeed I am sad that I no longer able to participate... but well, I only have myself to blame that I take things for granted and did not show what I am capable of.
This competition is so far the best I came across and still, is the best. I think I will only join another if it is even better than this one.
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Maybe some of you will wonder why am I writing such stuffs suddenly? Indeed I do not have the habit to pen down my thoughts like many other blogs... I am someone who doesn't really tell much about myself... even if I tell, it will be in a twisted way.
Perhaps the reason is that I just want to remember this here and not as a memory in my brain(?) lolx...
Anyway for all the Jazz-lovers out there, I have a nice song to share. I am sure if you like Jazz, you will have known this song. It's Corcovado by Antonio Carlos Jobim, based on the corcovado mountain in Brazil. It has since covered by various artistes, I recommend the version by Stan Getz & Joao Gilberto or the version by Jim Tomlinson & Stacey Kent... just do a search if you are interested, it won't be that hard.
It's a really nice song and here is the lyrics:
Quiet nights and quiet stars
Quiet chords from my guitar
Floating on the silence that surrounds us
Quiet thoughts and quiet dreams
Quiet walks by quiet streams
And the window lookin' onto corcovado, oh how lovely
This is where I want to be
Here with you so close to me
Till the final flicker of life's ember
I who was lost and lonely
Believing life was a only a bitter tragic joke
Have found with you the meaning of existence oh, my love
This is where I want to be
Here with you so close to me
Till the final flicker of life's ember
I who was lost and lonely
Believing life was a only a bitter tragic joke
Have found with you the meaning of existence oh, my love
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posted by Kyori @ 18:19  |
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| My deviantART~ |
| Thursday, November 02, 2006 |
Finally I have opened a deviantART account after much procrastination... the main reason is because I do not have enough new artworks to showcase. I have a lot of old artworks but I just felt that they are already of yesteryear's, I needed more new artworks to showcase what I am capable of now... hence I am building a new portfolio at the moment which consists of 2D and 3D artworks.
For those who have been wondering why there ain't any new model works from me... now you know the reason. My concentration now is more on the portfolio, which is not a hobby but a path to my future. I have not been modelling because of that... hmm... perhaps I should model again at a much slower pace than to completely stopped it. I have yet to realise some ideas of modelling which I had, well.... I shall work on them in conjunction with my portfolio's 3D artworks.
For the time being, I shall keep a secret on what's coming up next. hehe... There ain't many things to see in my DA account now but I will keep new artworks coming. Now, just for the taste of things in there at the moment. Enjoys!~
Check for more: http://j-sty1e.deviantart.com/ |
| posted by Kyori @ 13:37 |
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